|
Just Me, You, and a Tasty Salad
Friday, December 19, 2003
I've given up.
Thursday, November 20, 2003
Screw You Julie
Wednesday, November 19, 2003
Well, technically it's Thursday, but I haven't slept yet, so its' Wednesday. I hope everything works out. I've decided to quit school now. I hate it. I cry for no reason. I feel really sick all the time. So, I'm going to relax tomorrow, and then go to work Friday, and talk to Jason, my boss. Hopefully he can give me full time. If not, does anybody have a full time job for me? I'm seriously considering the B.Ed. thing. Apparently St. Mary's in Halifax, which offers a great BEd program, is sister schools with St. Thomas, which also offers a good program, and which is where Maggie is. I want to be where she is. I miss her a lot. A LOT.
I hope to have her back soon. Apparently, I will for Christmas. Christmas can't come quick enough.
fifteen years gone now
i still wander this parapet
and shake my rattle bone
fifteen years gone now
i still cling to the petticoats
of the girl who died with me
The Decemberists - Leslie Ann Levine
Wednesday, November 19, 2003
I realized something today whilst talking to Julie. And I've noticed this before talking to Maggie, too. I've told many people about this. I do things WAY before everybody else. Funny t-shirts with company's that don't exist. Mesh back hats. Sports coats over hoodies with flare legged jeans. Flare legged jeans. Shaggy/afro hair. Big sideburns. It's all MY schtick. It's ME. STUPID EMO KIDS HAVE STOLEN ME! We need to plan a covert operation into the minds of marketing 'geniuses' and steal my personality back. Bastards.
Geezerz need excitement
If their lives don't provide them this they incite violence
Common sense simple common sense
The Streets - Geezer's Need Excitement
Wednesday, November 19, 2003
I went to school. Was late for first period, which was a double, had third period off, and was late for fourth period, so I couldn't go to that one. I tried to get in to talk to Mr. MacLeod, but he wasn't there. Then this afternoon, I was on the verge of tears most of the time, so I came home. I hate this, and every day it's harder. I hate it. Joe Says: Life = Hard.
In other news.
Did you know... While both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, according to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers until after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to every historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, every single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen - had to be a girl. We should've known. Only women would be able to drag a fat-ass man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.
BOM BOM BOM BOM
BOM BOM BOM BOM
Beethoven - 5th Symphony?
The Wildest Party
Wednesday, November 19, 2003
I didn't go to school yesterday. I don't want to go today. I will, but will I go to class? Who knows. I hate it. I'm not very good at it, and I'm not doing very well at it, but for some reason, I have to keep going. I don't understand. I hate this. I feel... helpless? Is that right? I get home from work in the evening, and I feel good. Then I go to bed and remember that I have to go to school in the morning. Then I wake up, and I realize I have to go to school in half an hour. Then I feel like crying. And from there I don't know what to do. I want to go, and talk to my homeroom teacher, and say 'What do I do?'. But at the same time, I just want to go in, and say 'I'm stepping away from this. It's not for me.' I wish I could do the latter. Oh well. Someday.
And on these boats,
ride the hopes of working class boys,
dreaming of girls, from far away points.
And better things. Like winter flings.
And longing after spring has sprung.
And they fly north when winter's done.
And we get burned in summer's sun.
Further Seems Forever - Snowbirds and Townies
The Wildest Party
Monday, November 17, 2003
Today I didn't go to school. And I never want to go to school ever again. I hate every friggin' second of it. I have to finish this semester out. At least do that. I'm trying to think of options. I'm considering moving to Fredericton and getting my BEd. Become a teacher. Elementary school, or grade 12 English.
I went out for Jason Street's birthday. He turned 25. It was a good time. Jason, Shenoa, Winston, Leanne, myself, a girl, Janet, and Robin all went to Boston Pizza. Robin gave me half of her pizza. It was good. And nice of her. Then Jason, Shenoa, myself, Janet and Robin went bowling. That was fun. I felt uncomfortable, though, cause I didn't really know any of them all that well. And I dunno. I didn't feel... appreciated? My jokes weren't really laughed at. I felt... dirty? Like they were trying to stay away from me? I felt really self-conscience. It was a bad feeling. But a nice time nonetheless. I guess I just have a good time every where, as long as I don't leave crying. Or cry while I'm there.
Anyhow, in good news, Damien Rice is amazing. Everybody should buy his album 'O' . It's phenomanal. It makes me want to cry and be really giddy at the same time. But yeah. Music is my medicine. I feel good when he's singing.
So why do you fill my sorrow
With the words you've borrowed
From the only place you've known
And why do you sing Hallelujah
If it means nothing to you
Why do you sing with me at all?
Damien Rice - Delicate
The Wildest Party
Sunday, November 16, 2003
If Maggie and I were 'together', it would be our one year and nine month anniversary. Every once in a while it hits me that she's really not my girlfriend right now, and every time she doesn't say she loves me when we hang up, or every time we get into a little argument, it seems to hurt more, for some reason. I guess I'm scared that every time she doesn't tell me, or every time we fight, that either she's one step further away, or I'm pushing her one step further away. Chances are I'm just a crybaby. But this is the way I feel, and it's not exactly something that I can change on a whim.
In other news, I want to quit school. I want to take next semester off and work. And from there, I'll either go back to school next year to finish it up, or I'll keep working at el Future Shoppe and build my credit, and eventually open my record store. I went out last night with Chris from school, Christine from school, and Christine's friends Ashley and Ginette. It was good times. I want my Maggie back. This is the most ridiculous and tiring, and hard situation I've ever been in. I miss her more than anything. And while I still talk to her every day, I don't really have her anymore. She's not my 'girlfriend', so I guess in a way, she's not really mine. "What is a girlfriend anyway? Someone to make out with?" she asked me one time. You can love someone all you want, but if there's no 'title' there's really no committment. If you're not my girlfriend, love me or not, you don't owe me anything. I don't like that. I need to have my girlfriend. My Maggie. Godspeed You! Christmas.
But we will still need a song
To carry our love away,
To carry it away.
We will still need a song
To dance on our wedding day
To carry us away.
Hawksley Workman - We Still Need a Song
The Wildest Party
Thursday, November 13, 2003
It's been a long time since a posting. Things have been weird. Last Friday after school I took the bus to visit Maggie. We hadn't seen each other in a couple weeks, and needed to spend some time together. The couple of nights before we had talks about taking a 'break'. I thought everything was smoothed over, and we'd work things out together. Well, here's one of the many things I learned over the last week or so. Just because *I* think it, doesn't make it so. Friday night, we arrived back to her dorm room, and hung out for a bit. Watched television, and talked. Then we went to bed. Then we woke up. And THEN Maggie said we needed to take a break. Long story short, I'm single til Christmas. It still hurts me to think about it, because I'm very thick headed, and single minded. A 'break' to me means that she's leaving me. A 'break' to her is just that. A 'break'. A short while where we aren't officially going out. We still talk. We'll still visit each other. But we aren't a couple right now. It still hurts to think about it. I'm still on the verge of tears at any given moment. But things are getting better.
See, Maggie hasn't been single since she was 16. She's now 20. That's a long time to not be alone. She doesn't really know herself, and how she handles things without me. And to tell you the truth, neither do I. She keeps saying that this break is for me, too. While I don't want it to be, I guess it is. I'm still in college, but I loathe every moment of it. I don't want to be here anymore. I'm toying with the idea of finishing off this semester, and then taking next semester off to work, and then see from there. Either come back to school, or keep working. Then I could build my credit, make some industry connections, and eventually open my record store. I was just reading my Marketing Research textbook, and I learned something that not only has to do with Marketing, but with life in general. "If you do not know where you are going, any road will take you there." I want to know where I'm going. I don't want any road. I want the right road that will take me where I want to be. And I want Maggie to be on that road with me. When she's ready. This is the hardest thing I've ever been through. I'm single. And I don't want to be. To quote my Maggie... 'Single and not looking... single and thinking'. I guess that's me too.
You gave me hope that I'd not lost her
And then thought it rather strange
to see me smile as I don't
do too much smiling
these days.
mewithoutYou - Silencer
The Wildest Party
Monday, November 03, 2003
Yo yo yo. It's Monday morning at 7:47. Thought it was time to post something. This is good one. The LA Symphony has a new record dropping real soon. They're seriously one of the best hip hop groups ever. I don't throw titles like that around. You guys know that. Anyhow, check them out.
The Wildest Party
Thursday, October 30, 2003
Alright. Complete site redesign. I like it. I did it myself. Although, roommate John helped when I messed up the table. I wanted three, but made six. Oops! But it's fixed now, and *I* think the site looks GREAT! New catch line. Still I am a Wild Party, but look UNDER that. Taking Things Too Far Since 1981. I have been. Oh well. Redesign. Hopefully more posts. Everything is going well. I have a new tooth growing in. It hurts like a pooper. When I wake up in the morning, I can't close my mouth fully. I have a dentist appointment Tuesday afternoon, so they'll tell me what I need to do. School is back on. Maggie visited.
Sidetalkin' is the funniest site ever right now. Check it out.
The Wildest Party
Thursday, October 16, 2003
So, apparently there WAS school yesterday! Crap! And there actually was school on Tuesday, as well! So, I missed two tests. That blows. But yeah. Two tests tomorrow, I do believe, and then back to days off. Well, until they resolve their 'differences'. Stupid government, AND stupid union! I refuse to take sides in this, because both sides are being pigheaded. The government is too stubborn to give the union what they want, and the union is too stubborn to accept what the government is giving them. Oh well. What can ya do!? Protests don't work. Emails might, but not likely. Oh well. I just want to go home, and play Caesar, and then go to work, and come home again. I want to play guitar, as well. I got NEW STRINGS! WOO! I'm pretty darn excited! Well, it's time to go do... something else...
The Wildest Party
Wednesday, October 15, 2003
I think school is cancelled today. It was yesterday, and Friday. Nobody's told me otherwise. But, I didn't turn on the radio, either. Is anybody going to call and tell me that there is school? Not likely. Do I care? Not likely. Well, I do. I need to go to school. I need to finish this course. Anyhow, enough about that. Jacob came to visit for the first time in about a year. We went to the skatepark. Twice. I still suck. He landed Thursday night, so right after I got off work, we hit the park. It was nice to be on the board again. It was chilly, and I didn't even break sweat, but I had fun. It's kind of freeing, in a weird sort of way. So, the next day, school gets cancelled, so Jacob, his girl Krystal, and my buddy Shawn hit up a Chinese food place for lunch. I chose the wrong Chinese food place. It was disgusting. Now, I'm not one of those angry high school kids, so I'm not going to tell you what restaurant it was, but it was a big restaurant, and there always seems to be a lot of people there. Ladies and gentlemen, a lot of people are being gipped. Friday night, we headed up to Maggie's Aunt and Uncle's place in town for a birthday party. A lot of Maggie's family was there. We hung out at the party for a while. Tyler and I played some guitbox. I miss it so much. Then we hit up the bowling alley. Bowled for a couple of hours, had some pizza. Then we left. Jacob and I went to the skatepark at 1:30. We got home at 3am. I woke up at 6:30am. I was super tired. But I was fine later on the day. And you know what? Maggie STILL went to bed before me! Oh well. Today is Wednesday. That holds no significance, really. But anyway, I'm going to go send some emails and then I'm going to play a game. If any of you know of some good games that will run reasonably well on a Pentium 166, please, feel free to let me know.
The Wildest Party
Tuesday, October 7, 2003
So, my ride calls at 7:30 and says he wants to sleep in. So, I says, ok, I want to sleep in as well. So, he calls again at 9:55, and says he's on his way. So, I arrive at the school just as my third and fourth period teacher is shutting the door. So, I hung out with Christine and Shawn, ate a whopper jr and came home. I shouldn't have even gotten out of bed today. It's Tuesday, and I haven't even gone to class yet. What a week.
The Wildest Party
Tuesday, October 7, 2003
It's been almost a week. Anything big happen? Not really, no. I saw School Of Rock starring Jack Black with some friends of mine! That was super, cause Jack Black is amazing, and these were friends whom I've only ever hung out with at work, save for Shawn. That was nice. Then, after four hours of sleep, I worked Saturday for 8 and a half hours. That was... well... bad. Some people like that sort of thing, but they're sick. Sick sick sick. Sick sick sick sick sick. I worked Sunday with Steve, and had to work on a complete store price change. EVERYTHING is going down in price! Thankfully Nancy was working, and she helped me out. God Bless her! What a help! Then yesterday I took the day off school. I wasn't feeling good, and I was extremely tired. Then when it was time to go to work, Nancy came to pick me up. It was nice of her. Then today, I was ready to go to school, and Shamus called and said he wanted to sleep in. It's now 9:47 and he isn't here yet. Oh well. That just means I get to listen to Erykah Badu! Yeah. I said it. Erykah Badu. She's awesome. Especially that one she does with The Roots! What a hook! Anyhow, I'm now waiting on a bed. Enough of this sleeping on an air mattress. See, Maggie's Aunt G was supposed to give me a bed, but she hasn't had a chance to get it to me. Now, Maggie's Mom and Aunt L got sick of waiting for me to receive the bed, and they went out and bought me a bed. It's being delivered Thursday afternoon. SWEET! This weekend is Thanksgiving. Maggie's family is coming to Moncton Friday night, and we're going up to the Miramichi on Saturday. Also, my best bud every Jacob is coming up from Hali to visit! I'm pretty stoked! Anyhow, I'm out. Take it easy.
The Wildest Party
Wednesday, October 1, 2003
I did it again. For the second time in a week, I've scored 65% on a test in a course I've never learned anything in! I'm a GENIUS!
The Wildest Party
|
